Helen Johnson

A valued Self Studies ambassador and relationship practitioner.

We hear the term empowerment banded around a lot but what does it actually mean? And how does this correspond in relationships and sex?

The term may conjure up visions of whips and leather, especially when it comes to sexual empowerment and whilst that might be your goal, there is much more to the term. Letting go of (learnt) negativity surrounding yourself and embracing you, your sexuality & needs and feeling comfortable making choices for yourself.

Here are some tips to help you:

Feeling empowered comes from a place of being comfortable in your own skin. Working on your relationship with yourself is a great place to start. Sexually, this means working out what you like, what makes you tick and also what you don’t. Spend some time getting to know you, your body, new techniques, and toys. Once you know what works for you, you will be able to share this with future partners.

Usually the things that are holding us back come from past experiences or previous traumas. Being able to let go of the negatives will help you move forward and feel more comfortable in your own skin. Consider working with a therapist to unearth and sort through anything holding you back, spend some time healing and gain confidence in finding you.

A quick and easy way to feel sexy and confident is in what you wear. We all usually have an outfit or item of clothing that we feel and look great in. It doesn’t matter if it’s seen or under your clothes, in fact it can be sexy to know that you’re wearing something great that no one else knows about…unless of course you share!

Make a list of everything you want to try and enjoy sexually and within your relationship. It doesn’t matter how small or broad your list is. Love a massage? Shared bubble baths? New toy? Always wanted to try a certain position? Write it down! Once you have compiled a list of things you like and want to try you can get to work ticking off your list. You could share It with your partner and knowing what you want will give you the confidence to ask for it next time.