Helen Johnson

A valued Self Studies ambassador and relationship practitioner.

We’ve said it before. Communication is key. But if the channels of communication are broken and you’re struggling, why not invite a therapist into the mix? Seeking a couple’s counsellor shouldn’t be seen as a negative, after all the reason you’re thinking about doing so is to have a positive effect on your situation.

Therapy for couples usually involves going to see a counsellor to discuss any issues or problems that you may feel are in the relationship. Some therapists also offer online sessions, which may work if you are both struggling to find the time but it’s usually face to face.

Sometimes it is easier to discuss something with an independent third party there. Sometimes a relationship can get stuck on a problem, and be in a vicious cycle and need to find a way to work on it.

It can be a great way to restore connection, reopen communication channels and exploring emotions and feelings in a safe space.

A therapist can help you with a breakdown of communication, trust, sexual problems and also issues that may have arisen from things such as money problems, abusive situations, parenting or general life.

At the beginning of your therapy journey you can discuss how many sessions might be needed, timings, and most importantly what has brought you there.

Whilst most of the sessions are together, there may be some sessions for each of you alone. This can give you a safe space to discuss something without the other around. However you may be encouraged to share this with your partner at a later time.

A therapist will ensure that both of you have opportunities to talk and listen with no judgement, taking sides and ensure you can come to conclusions and work towards your goals together.

It varies depending on where you live but your GP is a good first point of contact. They should be able to refer you or recommend where to go. In the Netherlands most workplaces have a welfare office you could also talk to. However if this feels too close to home an online search might help, but make sure you choose someone that is registered and happy to tell you their qualifications.